


Comfort

by queenofpendragons



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fingering, Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Service Top Julian, Smut, Vaginal Sex, aka julian is a top in an emergency
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 19:44:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17834966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofpendragons/pseuds/queenofpendragons
Summary: SPOILERS FOR A SEA CHANGE:After you and Julian discover your own death as his previous apprentice, you are overcome with emotion, and fear, over the hard truth. You need Julian’s comfort, and he lovingly gives it.





	Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to explore top julian a lil idk... enjoy!

“Are you… are you okay?”

It’s the first time after the revelation of your death, seemingly why you’ve been unable to recall so many memories of your life, that someone asks you how you’re feeling. And the first time you actually have a moment to think on it. Julian gazes at you shrewdly as you both stand in his old office, wondering how all of this is affecting you, how you’ll react to his question.

How does one even react to something like this? Part of you is still screaming on the inside, not wanting to accept the truth that you know is irrefutable. Your body begins to tremble as a fear sets in –– having this knowledge brings on a whole new set of questions, concerns … why are you alive again? And how? At any moment could this regained life be snatched away from you? There is so much uncertainty, and it genuinely scares you. You just got Julian back, and yet who's to say how much longer you have on this second life?

“I don’t know,” you admit, limbs still shaking, face lacking of any colour. “I– I don’t know how to feel. I know it’s real and it’s the truth but it doesn’t feel real. _I_ don’t feel real. Am I really even me?”

Who’s to say the same life as the one before dwells in this physical body? Everything feels so surreal. Julian’s eyes widen at the silent crisis you seem to be undergoing, and though he cannot possibly begin to imagine what you are going through, he is ever concerned and wants to do what he can to help.

“ _Wha_ – Of course you are!” he insists as he takes your hands in his, feeling them shake and staring at you without a hint of doubt in his eyes, one with a bright red sclera no longer hidden by an eyepatch. “Though in a _different_ sense, perhaps...” He trails off before realizing that does no good to comfort you. “It’s still you, and no one else. I’m certain. _You are real_. H-Here – feel me.”

He lets go for only a moment to tug off his gloves, letting the soft, large hands free for you to press your hands into. “ _See?_ Your touch is as real as anything I’ve ever felt. Don’t be frightened, my dear, or doubt that you are still you.” His face is flush with colour from all of his passion. “I don’t doubt who you are... not at _all_. I know who I love– it’s you, and that– that doesn’t change because of this.”

You’ve been trying to hold it all in, but now it comes rushing to the surface. You feel a sob erupt in your chest and you rush forward, pressing yourself into him, begging to be enveloped by his embrace. Julian’s arms practically crush you as they hold you close, the doctor sensing your fear and need for comfort. He showers the top of your head with tender kisses, murmuring words of reassurance as he does so. All you can think is that the only tangible thing you have right now, despite how untangible it actually is by definition, is this love you have with Julian. That has to be real, no matter what your existence, your resurrection means.

And you need that more than anything right now to keep you grounded. You lift your face from where it was nestled against his chest, tears in the corners of your eyes threatening to spill over, and find his lips with your own. Julian’s grip around your form loosens as he returns the kiss with fervour, one of his cold hands sliding up to caress your hair. You know this feeling inside of you while you are so close isn’t a lie, it brings some comfort, some small sense of normalcy after everything has been flipped upside down for you.

You grip at his waist as you kiss him harder, desperate to feel everything, and Julian moans in his throat, unintentionally parting his lips for you. “Please,” you whisper against his mouth, eye shining and cheeks now flushed with the colour they had been drained of moments ago. “Please, I need you. I need this. You’re real, what we have is real… oh, god, Julian, _please_.” More tears leak from your eyes and Julian looks heartbroken and in love all at once.

"Of course, my darling, of course," he breathes, gently placing his hand along the side of your face, and you lean into the touch, sighing quietly. You turn your face, and there, as you remembered, is the cot which Julian once certainly spent countless nights on, barely getting more than a few hours sleep because all he could focus on was finding a cure.

You now look back at him and he understands at once.

" _Ahh –_ – ah, of course. Come along, my dear."

The tips of his ears are crimson red, though he tries to maintain form as he walks with you over to the cot where you both sit, side-by-side, and it doesn’t take long for you to be drawn into his embrace again, hot mouths moving together now in the most gentle way compared to before. Your hands fall to his waist, fingers inching his tunic out from his trousers until the hem flows freely, and you slip your fingers underneath. He is soft, and his skin strangely cool, and you feel every inch under his top while your lips never part. Julian shudders beside you, kissing you a little more desperately. You tug on his shirt then a little, and he gently begins to lower you down on the cot so you are lying down completely, his torso bent over your body as he kisses you lovingly. He only breaks your mouths apart for a moment to shed himself of his tunic and his hands fall to the sash at your hip that keeps your own tunic closed. “May I?”

You chew on your lip, nodding surely. You remaining looking into his eyes as he works, and though his cheeks warm red at your intense stare, he does not falter. There is an unspoken trust between you, and already though your heart is hammering inside of you, fear is ebbing away to be replaced with love. Julian’s face looms near again, and instead of pressing his lips against yours again, they find your soft jaw, down to your neck, as gentle as a butterfly’s touch. You allow your eyes to flutter shut, and he speaks in dulcet tones for you to hear. “I love you,” he insists softly, kissing your skin again. “You are real, and _this_ – is _oh_ so real.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, fingers disappearing in his fiery hair as you bring him near. He finishes working the sash at your hip and opens the flaps of your tunic, sliding his fingers along them to push them away from your bare torso. As his fingers pass over your hardened buds, you arch your back a little, and Julian catches his lip between his teeth and groans quietly. His hands settle on your waist, thumbs running over your warm skin before he slides up, up, then cupping your breasts. You let out a soft breath, fingers pressing into his neck as his thumbs run over your nipples. He can barely contain himself, though he tries, for you.

“This is all right?” he manages to ask, and you breath out a reply. “ _Yes_. Julian…” You need not say anything else– he kisses his way down your neck needily, going along your collarbones with soft lips before settling between your breasts, planting uncountable kisses. Meanwhile his long fingers slide over your perky nipples, squeezing them carefully as he continues to worship every inch of your torso with his mouth.

"You're so beautiful – so heavenly, so divine." He moans against your skin hotly, needy. Further down he goes, until your skirt is in the way, though after looking at you for permission, it slides over your hips easily as he tugs it downward. You watch him treat you so gently, with such adoration and you cannot believe how loved you are. It brings a fresh round of tears to your eyes and you blink them away, though as Julian glances upward again he notices with some alarm.

“Did I do something?” he asks in quiet concern, eyes wide, as he slides back upward to bring your faces only centimeters apart again. “Nothing wrong,” you smile, lips trembling, your hand moving up to caress his cheek. “I’ve never been loved like this, that’s all.” He understands then. “You _deserve_ to be loved like this, [name],” he tells you seriously, brows furrowed. “I– I want to love you like no one else ever has, or ever will. I want to make you understand how I feel, to pleasure you––”

Your lips curve upward, eyes still shining but not in sadness, feeling a calmness spread over you at his admission. "Show me. Please." Julian nods slowly, kisses your forehead then, and as his lips part from your skin, his hand slides between your bodies, gliding over your stomach before his fingers edge over your pelvis… A hot breathy moan escapes you and he bites on his lip hard, brows crinkled as he does when his desire overcomes him.

Your arm around his upper back draws Julian closer in need, until your chests are practically touching, save for some space where his toned arm is in between your bodies. His fingers ghost over your dampened folds below, before he slides the pad of his middle finger up along your slick opening, up to the nub that is pulsating with desire right above. You shove your face into the crook of his neck, whimpering against his skin and you hear a sharp breath pass his lips. His fingers find movements that pleasure you, drawing more wetness out of you and allowing for more lubrication. As his fingers move in circles, you begin to squirm underneath him, moans slipping out of you more often and more easily, and Julian can’t help but moan against your jaw, inhaling deeply. “ _Julian_ ,” you plead, practically crying again as he works at you.

"I won't last very long with you crying my name like that, darling," he breathes near your ear. Julian then slides two long fingers inside of you and curls them then, gripping where he knows will send you careening over the edge while his thumb works back and forth over your sensitive nub. You collapse into it, your head falling back as the rush overcomes your body, taking over you and making you jolt unexpectedly. Julian removes his thumb from its place over your swollen clit though his fingers pump in and out a few times to finish you off, his lips placing sloppy kisses along your jaw again, his breath hot against your skin. You ride the wave for a moment longer before grasping his face in your hands and leaning up to kiss him adoringly, gratefully, and he seems glad that this is all working to comfort you and remind you of something so very real.

Now, it is your turn to slide his trousers down over his narrow hips, and you kiss his shoulder several times as you do so. “I love you,” you tell him in a sure voice, feeling more certain than you were when you two first entered this room, and feeling significantly less scared. Julian shuts his eyes and breathes in your words, only opening them again when he feels your hand guiding his member towards your entrance. To help ease the initial discomfort of entering you, he catches your lips in his, distracting you slightly. Once he is situated full inside of you and you seem to untense some more, he begins to move his hips up and against yours, finding your hand is it lies beside your head to intertwine your fingers tightly. You rest your other hand on his back and hold him close to you as he makes love to you, his cheek brushing against yours and red curls tickling at your face. "You know I love you," he grunts out as he continues to rock against you, lining up your gazes for a moment. "Oh, _god_ , how I love you––"

He whimpers with his next thrust, your name leaving his mouth, and you press your mouth to his shoulder again, kissing it encouragingly while his body moves back and forth against yours. Your hand finds its way into his hair again and your features convey pleasure as he fills you deeply. You think to yourself that everything is going to be okay, eventually. Even if it’s uncertain now, and scary, you’re not alone, at least. You may not have answers, but you have him, and that brings you more comfort than you could ever imagine.

“I love you,” you murmur by his ear, never tiring of saying it. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” Julian hums deeply at this, lifting his head so he can look at you with eyes full of both lust and love. “I love you, I– you feel so amazing… I’ve wanted this for so long, wanted _you_ …” Your heart jumps at those words, and you shudder in want. “I know, my love.” He builds up more speed, his head falling low again, your hips crashing against each other as he thrusts again and again. A sheen of sweat begins to cover both of your bodies as your limbs stretch and tighten, skin smacking into skin without relenting. You press your thighs tighter against his waist, his hips, trying to help keep him in place as his thrusts become erratic, the doctor clearly near his own orgasm. You don’t mind much if you don’t reach your own now, wanting to help Julian climax after he helped you reach yours once already. Still, you feel spikes of pleasure as he rubs against your sensitive spot with every movement, and you whimper each time a strong pulse shoots through you.

Then, Julian gives you a fumbled warning, only managing a few words in a shout, before he jerks against you and the evidence of his climax fills you up. You kiss his cheek softly before nuzzling your face into his neck, waiting for him to slow to a halt. He keeps his head down next to yours before he finds the strength to lift his face and look into your eyes, his own half-lidded, cheeks flushed. You untwine your fingers to brush his hair out of his eyes, wrapping your arms around him, and he shifts to the side before drawing you closer again.

“I’m don't know what we’ll find out from here,” you begin softly, searching his eyes with your own. “But I know I have you by my side and that makes me less fearful. I’m going to be okay.” Julian smiles, one hand stroking your hair. “I know,” he murmurs with a certain nod. “You will be. You won’t deal with this alone.” There is more to come from here, you know that. But at least in this moment here, this small moment, there is some solace for you.


End file.
